Ma première année universitaire touche à sa fin. Oui, hier a eu lieu mon dernier examen. La joie après avoir rendu "ma dernière copie" était indescriptible. Il n'y avait qu'à regarder autour de soi et constater l'hystérie qui envahissait tous les étudiants. Les sourires, les soupirs de relâchement, les regards pensifs traduisaient un fait : nous sommes en "vacances". C'était beau. On s'en souviendra tous.

Cette année aura été pleine de joies, de déceptions, d'amitiés, d'inimitiés et de fatigue. Elle n'aura pas été déméritée. Non, on a tous beaucoup donner de nous. On a sacrifié nos loisirs, nos habitudes et nos relations, involontairement et à un degrés plus au moins prononcé selon les caractères, mais nous avons tous terminé cette année!

Quant à moi, je sais que j'ai changé. Beaucoup. Mais je le constaterai davantage lorsque je quitterai Le Havre. J'ai rencontré des gens exceptionnels. Et c'est peu dire. Grâce à eux, je sais ce que le mot "humanité" signifie, je sais aussi que l'ouverture d'esprit compose uniquement les meilleurs d'entre nous. Ils m'ont étonnée. Ils m'ont impressionnée. Et, ils m'ont changée. En étant venue ici, j'ai découvert les bienfaits de la solidarité et combien il était essentiel d'être là pour "ceux qui comptent". Bref, je ne les remercierai jamais assez pour ce qu'ils m'ont inconsciemment apporté. Merci à "vous", et surtout, merci à la jeune fille enneigée...

Via ce blog, je continuerai de vous faire part de ce qui fait ma vie: mes coups de coeur musicaux, cinématographiques et artistiques le plus souvent possible. Pour l'instant, je dois jongler entre un déménagement, un travail saisonnier, une absence pénible de connexion internet avant d'être récompensée par les visites de l'être aimé et les concerts de l'être adoré... La Queen Of Pop. Et oui, je vais de nouveau avoir la chance de croiser cette femme incroyable à Paris. Il me tarde. Que le temps passe vite, mais pas trop.

  Being a student at Sciences Po Paris Le Havre means: "You have to speak perfect English". So, at the beginning of the year, I passed two test in order to determine my English level. I was not good and I wasn't bad at it. I was put in the second group. It meant: your level is not bad but you are going to improve it. My teacher at that time was Kim B., or to me more precise, an energic American girl. Basically, she speaks quickly (but not too much) with a typical American accent. I found it lovely because I have always loved listening to someone who speaks English. Since I was a child, I'm in love with English and especially with the British accent (thanks Lady M.).

  At the end of the first semester, we had an exam. I failed. My mark was not good but I could explain it: I didn't like everything we did in class and we didn't write enough in English before the exam. I was not angry but very, very disappointed because my teacher and the administration decided to put me in the first group, that is to say "those who have the worst level in English"! What a failure. They didn't trust me. Anyway, this year is associated with the word "failure" in my mind (except for my personal life).

  So, after having expressed some remarks, such as: writing more, reading more English articles about political life and learning more specific vocabulary, we started the second semester. It was at that moment that the "blog idea" born. I really enjoyed myself writing an article per week. I tried to use unusual expressions as often as I could and to foster my vocabulary. Moreover, in class, we had a vocabulary test each Wednesday morning. It was a great idea, and also our idea, but we had to much words to learn. And in my case, it was not as useful as it could be. Yes, we really have a lot of work to do. And, I was obliged to learn my vocabulary only the Tuesday's evening. So, it was not completely helpful. Nevertheless, I prefer this semester to the first because we focus more often on specific topic: the presidential elections in the United-States, idiomatic expressions, the art of writing a speech.

  I would have to describe the evolution of my English level, I would say that I'm more confident when I have to speak because my accent is better (that is to say, less French than before). But, I don't really think that I improved my way of writing. I have more vocabulary, for sure. But, I don't see an obvious evolution. Maybe, it is because I didn't work enough. I don't know. At last, right now, I take pleasure in reading books in English and I'm pretty proud of it!

  To sum up, for the English class, I propose less words for the weekly vocabulary test, more videos to watch and more novels to read! But, Kim, please, do not loose your energy and your smile!

  Last week-end, fifteen friends who study with me came to visit Rouen's main museums. Sophie G., our history teacher, had this great idea. She lives in Rouen, she loves visiting museums and she likes teaching a lot of things to us, but, and that's why we love her, always with pleasure.

  First, we quickly visited the ceramic museum because it was going to close for a "lunch break". That's typically French! Thus, we ran to the second museum: "The Fine Arts Museum". Of course, we ate a sandwich while we were walking because, I have to admit it, we were starving.

  This visit was really fascinating. Our guide guide was passionate about his subject. We had a short visit but I'm quite sure that if we had had time, he would have told us more about the different paintings. Anyway, I was fascinated with the paintings, its colours, its allusions and its secrets. It is something I would love to do more often because it an excellent way to improve my culture and my capacity to criticize.

  Then, we quickly visited another museum. At last, we had to come back to Le Havre. As for me, I went home. Strangely, I would like to stay with my friends because we really had a great time together! Especially with Mathilde, Laurélie, Eléonore and Antoine M. I didn't want to leave them.

   To be in top shape in Sciences Po is a treasure. You have to fight to reach this state. It is almost a luxury. We don’t eat enough, and as if it were not sufficient, we don’t sleep enough either. But, the main victim is not us. No. Surprisingly, it is our body! Mr Body suffers, hurts and screams.

   I remain a sportswoman but I am no longer an athlete. I am out of practice. I was a stayer, I burn out. I miss running as long as I could before. I miss sweating after a hard match. I miss feeling my body live. Here, I feel like Victor in Tim Burton’s movie: my spirit is awake while my body is cold.

   I had an excellent relationship with my body. I loved being into it. My body was like a beautiful dress that I loved wearing. But, this dress lost its colours, and, I don’t like it anymore. I would like to feel good again but I am overwhelmed by the occasion. I am receiving a drubbing. I am almost like a boxer: K.O.

   There’s another thing I know about me and my body: we form a phoenix. I always come back from my ashes. I know I can model manipulate and model, following my desires. So, nothing is lost. Nothing is over. I just have to persist and get through it. My body is going to relive after the end of the semester. Mr Body is going to be delighted because the athlete in me is coming back!

Song of the week: Madonna - She's Not Me (from Hard Candy)

This week was an important week for History. On May 15, 2008, the Supreme Court of California overturned the ban on same-sex marriage. Concretely, it means that in California, two women or two men who love each other can get married. This is not innovative because same-sex marriage has been already allowed in the state of Massachusetts since 2004. But, California, currently governed by Arnold Schwarzenegger, is the most populated American state. Thus, California’s decisions have an impact on the whole country’s mentality. If the biggest state of the United-States recognizes the rights to get married to gay people, why others states would not follow the same direction? By legalizing the same-sex marriage, or “gay marriage”, California opened a new era…

Reactions to this decision came quickly. For instance, the day after, a famous host and actress named Ellen DeGeneres announced on her TV Show (The Ellen Show) that she was going to get married with her lover, Portia de Rossi. She is publicly known as a lesbian and is very influencial in the United States. For example, she was the first openly “gay” person to host the 79^th Annual Academy Awards ceremony in 2007. Her marriage announcement was not only moving for her, but also for a whole part of America’s population: maybe things are going to progress for gay people in the United States. I thought it was important to underline this announcement because I’m pretty sure that in the future, we will talk about the consequences of this event.

I don’t know if it was a coincidence or not, but, the Supreme Court of California’s decision took place the same week as the international day against homophobia. Each year, on May 17th, that’s the day to encourage people and to remind them of fighting against homophobia. This special date was chosen because this day, in 1990, the World Health Organization (WHO) officially decided to stop considering homosexuality as a mental disease.

So, I think that this week was really important for a whole community, or, for a whole part of the population (depending on the way you define homosexuals). This decision might be a powerful first step towards change. Yes, even if, homosexuals can get married in five countries (Belgium, Spain, South Africa, Netherlands and Canada), it is not enough. Personally, I am ashamed of my country about this topic, especially because of Nicolas Sarkozy’s point of view. Of course, there is the civil union called the PACS which allows some rights to gay people, but, gay and straight people still not possess the same rights. I don’t think it is normal because there’s no difference between a straight couple and a gay couple, except their sexuality of course. They just love each other. So, why do they not have the same rights?

To conclude, I chose to write my weekly article about this major decision because nowadays we, unfortunately, think that it less difficult to be gay. But, people are not necessarily more open-minded than before. I assert it because of my friends’ experiences or words pronounced around me. Nevertheless, California’s decision is just a message of hope for gay people. Maybe, they are going to be really recognized and no longer being victim of discrimination in the future. It is just a question of mentality’s change.

Words are the first connection that we establish with the world. When we are young, our parents teach us how to define things, how to call someone or how to express our feelings. Words had always been the best way to express ourselves. During our life, we pronounce, write, say and listen to words. We consider words as the best way to express our thoughts, and especially our feelings. We grow up with words, our vocabulary becomes more developed by the time and we change with their meanings. Our first fear, our first reading, our first love letter were due to words.

Yet, words can hurt. You can be words's prisoner. Words don't have the same meaning depending people. For instance, the expression "I Love You" does not mean the same thing for two people: one can be moved by it because it is the first time he hear it, whereas the other can be just happy to hear it. Thus, misunderstandings can be created thanks to one word, or because of the way we pronounced it.

Words are powerful. Thanks to words, you can do everything, the good and the bad: you can hurt someone, you can make someone happy, you can make someone think or you can torture someone. Words are useful in order to express our thoughts and, especially, to communicate. As for me, I am sensitive. Words are able to move me. Of course, it depends on the words, on the person that speaks or writes, and on the way that they are pronounced, but, words are very important to me. That's why I like people who are able to express themselves perfectly, without any mistake, because it means they pay attention to words that they use. The choice of a word in a sentence is not due to nothing, it is the expression of our consciousness.

I love writing, I love listening to good lyrics, I love reading books. So, long life to words!

Vacations are associated to “coming home” in my mind. Actually, it became true after my arrival in Le Havre as Sciences Po’s student.

Even though, I have the chance to come home more frequently than others students, because I live near Le Havre, I don’t do it each week. Most of the time, at the end of the week, I am too tired to handle the travel, or, I have too much work. So, I stay in my little room, here, in the marvellous city of Le Havre.

When I am in Le Havre, I miss my home. I miss all these things that make my home “my own home”: the smell of the hot bread when I wake up, my mother’s perfume when I go downstairs, my collection of rare items about the Queen of Pop and, at last but not least, my brother’s annoying noises. I miss everything when I am in Le Havre because I have no particular habit here, and, especially because I associate this place with “work”.

When I am home, I am relaxed. I am myself because I sleep well (in a comfortable bed!), I can tell my mum everything that happened to me all along the day, I can run as often as I want because I am full of energy… I am just someone else. Whereas in Le Havre, I am sleepy Caroline. You know, this funny girl who sleeps in each class?! That’s so annoying.

I don’t particularly like being in vacation but, I just like the fact of re-becoming me.

It is sad. Yes, I was sad a few days ago. I was thinking too much as usual.

Being a Sciences Po student is not always a pleasure. However, I think it is also the case for university students. You have a largeamount of work each day: you have to know your lessons perfectly, you have to read newspapers to be aware of what's happening all around the world, you have to be full of energy every day. But, sometimes, your mind or your body stop you: "Hey, you didn't sleep enough". And, surprisingly (or not), you find yourself sleeping in class. That's a shame.

Studies are a good way to foster your spirit and your capacity to adopt a critical, but understanding. Point-of-view towards news you can receive. But, studies are also frustration's friends. You have to make concessions. You have to forget about some activities you like to do. For instance, you can’t go to your optional fitness class because you have an essay to finish, you can’t find the time to read a novel because you have a meeting to attend… That’s what studies are. Most of the time, your studies plan your schedule and, and unfortunately, your personal life.

Yet, I already hear people saying: "Students should not complain because they chose themselves their own studies. They were aware of the difficulty involved". It’s true. But, I will raise the objection that students were not able to foresee completely what was going to happen before having lived through this situation. Nobody prevents you that you are really going to stop being a child and, thus, become entirely a responsible person, that is to say, an adult. Studies teach students that they are no longer only "simple students". Indeed, they can’t do everything they want. That time is over. They have to do what their teachers and headmasters want them to do: working hard in order to become someone.

To conclude, even though I said I was thinking too much, I have to admit that I prefer "thinking" to not asking questions. I am convinced that if you stop asking questions, that’s the beginning of the end: a disaster.

At last, even if I’m tired because of my studies, I deeply know that I’ll be grateful when I’ll obtain my diploma. Yes, I’ll be proud of having succeeded and proud of having become a better version of what I was.

I don’t know if you have already watched voluntaril or involuntaril Madonna’s most recent videoclip. But, if you haven’t, you missed something! Really, you missed thinking about life’s aim. Yes, Madonna does nothing without having thought about it before…

Madonna’s new song, entitled 4 Minutes (To Save The World), features Timbaland and Justin Timberlake. The videoclip of the song appeared two weeks ago on the web. It was directed, in December 2007, by two amazing and talented French directors (Jonas & François) who worked for Justice, for example.

In the video, you can see Madonna and Justin trying to run away. Indeed, the world is slowly coming to an end and is destroyed by a scary dark diamond. This dark diamond is eating everything that makes up our every day life: the buildings, our bathroom, the supermarket. It even destroys love itself, killing two lovers who are kissing each other.

That’s tragic: the world is coming to an end. But, our “human superheroes”, Madonna and Justin, are racing each other. They are walking, running, dancing through people as we run through life. In a certain way, it resumes what we all do every day: we are having a good time even if we know that our life is going to come to an end one day. We have fun before dying. We enjoy life in order to have no regrets.

I have to admit that I was completely seduced by this video. I loved the colours, the universe and Madonna’s style. She is almost fifty years old and she is still ravishing. Her looks and mores are impressive. Yes, she proves she is the Queen.

Here at Sciences Po, we meet intelligent people every day. People who are completely passionate about several or precise subjects. For instance, Julia and Mathilde are fascinated with Japanese culture, Tristan is found of poems, Antoine M. is a Steve Job’s admirer (that is to say a geek!) and Fabien knows almost everything about politics. Yes, here, everybody is interesting and able to make you discover some theories or historical people that you have never heard of before. That’s the good thing about studying at Sciences Po.

However, there’s not only interesting, clever, and generous people. It’s true that sometimes, when you know that you are an excellent student or when you define yourself as an intelligent person, you tend to think you are self sufficient. And, unfortunately, you become selfish or uninteresting. You have no special or exciting qualities… except for yourself! You do not share your knowledge and keep it all for yourself. Why? Because you consider that others are less interesting than you and as a consequence that they do not deserve to learn something from you. Furthermore, there’s an obvious symptom which proves that you are becoming someone intelligent, but paradoxically idiot: you lose your smile, you lose your joy before ending up becoming totally annoying.

I don’t want to create clichés but we have to be aware that being an intelligent person does not inevitably make you respectable. No. People are interesting when they are both humble and intelligent. Humility is what really makes people interesting.

I wanted to write about this topic after having spent a whole night with "established, rich, intelligent" people. Ok, they seemed attractive because they had everything one would dream of. But, they were boring, entirely boring. Their talks could be resumed thanks to the expression: "Me, Myself and I".

So, we (Sciences Po students) have to be careful to not end up like these people. We have to take into account that only humility and intelligence make us being someone interesting.